Saturday, March 7, 2009

Religion is stale and rigid, life is not.

Cheerio my brethren! It is I, Dr. Reverend Lucius Chewbuculus, descendant of an ancient lineage of hairy creatures, who seeks peaceful progression by way of the warrior spirit of pre-colonial American antiquity. I hath come across an atheist blog post listing 101 quotes with regard to atheism or religion in general. Here I list and expand upon several quotes that stand out to me. Check out the link above to view all 101 quotes should this sort of thing suit your fancy.

First I would like to point to a few quotes that made me laugh. While I don’t necessarily believe in the magic of fairies, I certainly believe in the magic of laughter. What magic is this? It is impossible to say at this time, however reliable sources in my head say laughter amplifies and reverberates ones Chi, thus realigning the liquid crystalline structure of water in our cells thereby reducing the stress associated with stale rigidity. Laughter is clearly a complicated matter, so you’ll have to just trust me on this. I’ve seen mystical occurrences in the desert, so I am practically a prophet.

“The characters and events depicted in the damn bible are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.” - Penn and Teller

“Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.” - Steven Colbert

“It is not as in the Bible, that God created man in his own image. But, on the contrary, man created God in his own image.” - Ludwig Feuerbach

“Gods don’t kill people. People with Gods kill people.” - David Viaene


Perhaps some or none of these quotes strike you as funny. No problem, I actually laughed at some and then cried a little. While I don’t necessarily believe in challenging all elves I should encounter at a crossroads to a dueling of swords, I do believe in the power of tears! Nothing in the physical universal is stable or static, this is especially true of life. Actually these conditions exhibit robust inhibitory effects on life. Our cells terminate at lipid structures that crash upon other cells and extracellular matrix and then recede, continually, much like the waves of the ocean. Just as the gravitational force of the moon impacts ocean swells, prophetic insight tells me that the cohesive forces of our tears induce dynamic fluidity of our cell membranes counteracting the stress associated with stale rigidity.

“Properly read, the bible is the most potent force for Atheism ever conceived.” - Isaac Asimov

“The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.” - Richard Dawkins


Many aspects of “religion” are stale, rigid and detrimental to inhabitants of earth. Laughter and tears can attest. The division of people into distinctly characterized sects, the installation of fear and manipulation by it, the intolerance of differences… just to name a few. These stale and rigid aspects of religion stand against life and unity! Religion as we know it is obsolete! I will however concede that many elements of “religion” are conducive to life and unity, such as the elements of “open” community gatherings that encourage interaction and celebration. While I would warn the “religious” to be wary of passing though life without questioning their beliefs and perspectives, I would warn atheists against the same. Perhaps “religion” doesn’t need to be abandoned altogether, just transfomed in a massive evolution towards a new age of enlightenment on earth. A progression that seeks to cultivate and harness free thought, to respect reason and diversity and to unite rather than divide.

VIVA LA TOM PAINE’S GHOST!

“I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.” - Frank Lloyd Wright

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